


Cicciolina, moaned and panted her way through the opening speech in the four official languages of the Olympics - Emoji, Esperanto and Greek. If Hugo had been chosen, doubts about possible cheating due to misuse of the remote control would have cast a shadow over the ceremony. The choice of Soraya, questioned at first by LELO Hugo’s supporters, turned out to be spot on.

The first post-pandemic Olympic Games were thus inaugurated amidst nervous laughter and moans of excitement. Millions of viewers held their breaths for a few seconds as the neon silicone phallus shot from the Swedish archer LELO Soraya 2 hit the G-spot at the far end of the Sodom and Gomorrah Stadium. It seemed impossible - but it's actually here.
